How do I pronounce TWOOBS?
Ahhh the age-old question. Like knife, gnome and autumn, we decided to totally screw with you and chuck an unnecessary extra letter in there. It’s pronounced TOOBS, but everything’s better in twos, so we added the W. Now that you’re in on it, feel free to point and giggle when your friends mispronounce.
Can I buy your super cool life changing shoes in stores?
Dude, it’s 2016. This is a store. But instead of driving there, finding a parking space, stopping on the way to buy froyo blah blah blah you just click some buttons, and voila! The shoes arrive at your doorstep. So yes, you can buy them in a store, but only this amazing online one.
I hear TWOOBS come in a tube, are the rumours true?
We can neither confirm nor deny that these incredibly innovative tubes exist… guess you’re just gonna have to place an order to find out.
How much does shipping cost?
Shipping costs are the worst, and we’d totally rather be sending you your TWOOBS by owl post… but until we can train the owls to stop keeping the shoes for themselves (typical), we ship to you for a $15 flat fee, and you can buy as many pairs as you want for that price.
Does TWOOBS deliver everywhere in the world?
If you have a mailbox, we’re pretty confident we’ll be able to get them to you. Unless you’re on some remote island in the middle of the ocean with nothing but a monkey for a best friend and your mailbox is carved out of coconuts… in which case, can we come?
Can I track my order?
Can unicorns fly? Obviously. When you complete your order you’ll be sent an email with all the deets.
How long after I place my order will my TWOOBS arrive?
The perfect amount of time for a Hawaii vacation - about 10 days.
What’s your favourite emoji?
The poo, duh. Isn’t it everyone’s?
I’m sure I’ll totally love TWOOBS even more in person, but what happens if I need to return?
If you’re looking to hang with a different pair of besties or you just ain’t feeling the friendship, don’t worry, our girls aren’t easily offended. Just send an email to email@example.com and we’ll be able to help you out.
Were any animals harmed in the making of TWOOBS?
Other than our puppies who may have suffered from being overly cuddled while we perfected the art of sandal creation, absolutely not. All our shoes are made with vegan-friendly materials.
I went puddle jumping/ran through a cow paddock/did something slightly more mundane but equally as messy and now my TWOOBS are dirty. Help please.
You’re in luck… TWOOBS happen to be excellent swimmers, so feel free to indulge them in a spa day with a bath and a scrub to get off the dirt. Don’t forget to give your TWOOBS a bubble beard for LOLs.
How can I keep my TWOOBS in the best condition?
Use them as Christmas ornaments instead of shoes. But if you’re sold on this whole wearing-them-on-your-feet idea, you can expect them to get a little roughed up - to keep them looking their prettiest make sure you give them a bit of a wipe when they get dirty, and stuff socks or swimwear in them when you’re travelling to help them keep their shape.
When is it not appropriate to wear TWOOBS?
TWOOBS are always appropriate! To the beach, going shopping, hanging at parties, eating donuts in your underwear… Unless you get invited to the Whitehouse, then you should probably find something that more says ‘Hey Malia, let’s get a selfie?’ On second thought, TWOOBS are the right choice there too.
If you have any questions we haven’t covered here, have a hilarious meme you need to share with someone or just need a little life advice, feel free to head to our contact page so you can hit us up.